I will be the first to admit, I may have brought this on myself.
I bragged. I bragged that everytime Maddy’s butt hit her carseat she would K.O. That as soon as we pulled our jeep out of our parking lot she was snoring. That she was the best baby to travel with. Errands were easy. My baby was the best baby ever.
And then God replaced my baby with the devil.
Oh. My. God.
Im sorry. Forgive me. Please make it stop.
She started getting… a little fussy when she first got strapped in… but simply picking up the chair silenced her. Soon you needed to swing while walking to the car. Then bounce.
Now…. as soon as her bum hits the seat she SCREAMS. And I mean, goes from happy cooing smiley Maddy that everyone adores… to Satan with a soother.
God. Who is this child?!
Yes, shes colic-y, but that was getting better. We were having good days. And then I had to go and count my fricking chickens.
We reached our all-time high Friday though. I decided to take her up to Lake Cowichan to visit my Aunt and Uncle. They live right on the water, its beautiful, I love it. I wanted her to see it. I wanted to show off my pretty baby and eat my Uncle Ricks AMAZING caeser salad.
Trip up was perfect, she fussed at first, but as Ive become an expert at driving with one hand on the wheel and the other arched backwards over her carseat and holding the soother in her mouth, she calmed down and napped.
So we stayed and visited and relaxed and Oprahed and ate delicious food. And then it got to be eight and rainy and I thought we should be on the road.
She cried. She cried more horribly than I have ever heard. I pulled over four times. Then I thought ‘screw it, its nine now, I HAVE to get over the Malahat before the rain REALLY starts’.
It was pouring. It was thick and foggy. And I swore I was about to drive right off the cliff.
She cried in the backseat. I cried in the front seat.
Big, wet, ugly, snotty crying.
Then we got home, pulled into our new condo’s parking spot and went inside. I was feeling rough and miserable and just wanted to go to bed. I pulled her clothes (now covered in puke because she cried so hard she made herself vomit) off and laid her down to change her and she stoped crying. She was silent.
And she looked up at me, all red faced and splotchy, and she smiled the biggest brightest smile ever.
Happy and naked and out of her carseat.
And I melted.
God, how do they do it?!