Category Archives: health

We all eat, right?

I am really unsure about how to start this post… so Im just going to do it, and preface it with a warning of sorts. This is NOT one of those blogs, and I am not one of those people. I just think there is cause to be concerned… and to wake up.

Be open minded. I think thats one thing this generation could really do. We could be the first to do a lot of things, and correct a lot of mistakes the generations before us made. Mistakes made, some in earnest, others in greed. But mistakes that without action will fall on our childrens shoulders. And hearts, and lungs, and brains and any other part of their bodies.

This is a farm.
No seriously. Take a good look. If you have kids, in the next ten years they may not even know what a farm looks like anymore. They may not exist.

I am reading ‘Eating Animals’ by Jonathan Safran Foer. I am about a third of the way through it and have been feeling a little heavy in the heart and head. Its a good book. I would, in all sincerity, recomend it to anyone, regardless of how you want to eat, to read it. Its enlightening. Maybe removing meat completely from your diet isnt possible, thats fine, there are good places and bad places to source your meat. Unfortunately, in this day in age it boils down to money for a lot of families. I get that. But I think, no matter who you are, the health and wellbeing of yourself and your children should always outweigh the health of your savings account. Or the treats and goodies you splurge on. Splurge where its important, and yeah, maybe it means you dont get your kitchenaid mix master this month… but you get the comfort and security of knowing you did what was best for your kids wellbeing.
Theres a good quote in the book from a letter from a poultry farmer that says:

“Just the other day, one of the local pediatritions was telling me he has seen all kinds of illnesses that he never used to see. Not only juvinile diabetes, but inflamatory and autoimmune diseases that a lot of the docs dont even know what to call. And girls are going through puberty much earlier, and kids are allergic to just about everything, and asthma is out of control. Everyone knows its our food. We’re messing with the genes of these animals and then feeding them growth hormones and all kinds of drugs we dont really know enough about. And then we’re eating them. Kids today are the first generation to grow up on this stuff, and we’re making a science experiement out of them. Isnt it strange how upset people get about a few dozen baseball players taking growth hormones, when we’re doing what we’re doing to our food animals and then feeding them to our children.”

Its true. Our kids, hell, even us, are science experiments.

We dont know the long term effects that what we put into our animals, and then into ourselves, can have on us. And some of the things that have already come to light should give you chills. Do we want to wait and see what else there is?

I think that it is simply a matter of putting your money where your mouth is. Demand good, clean, safe meat and other animal products, and the government and the meat industry will turn around. I would never, ever tell someone how to do it (life), all Im saying is that our childrens bodies, and our bodies deserve better than this. So do your research, source out local farms who raise their animals organically, feed their cattle grass, lets their chickens out to run around in the sunshine and use the legs they have for a reason. Do your homework. Where do you think the risks of epidemics and pandemics come from? Birds and pigs. And the environments that they are living in promote bacterial and infection and disease. Theres a reason you can trace those influenzas back to factory farms. Its not healthy.

Anyways, Im not trying to preach vegetarianism or whatnot at you, thats not my intention. I just want to urge people to be responsible to their children. And to themselves. Feigning ignorance isnt cute, or logical, or doing anyone any favors anymore. This is our own doing. We want cheap meat, but there are huge consequences for that. Im just not willing to use my life, or my daughters to pay for that mistake. Not when I can demand better, and turn things around.

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Food, Inc.

Food, Inc. is coming out this summer. I am so unbelievably jazzed for this movie. Please go see it. Please be aware of what you eat, and maybe start to make our society change and be aware of what we allow to be put into our bodies, and our childrens bodies. Be aware of what you are eating. Nothing is going to change until we start to demand it. Im not, in the slightest saying dont eat beef. Eat beef. Eat grass fed healthy non-industrialized beef. Im saying dont eat beef that has been fed grain and remains of chickens, dogs and other cows. That shit? Is so not right.

And also, if you never have, read this book. Theres more books, but this one is a good start.

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Filed under health, Stuff I Read

That will be the begining

So… there’s a lot of talk going on at the Crawford-Baker homestead lately. Jer is going back to school. He’s been planning on doing this, well, talking about doing this, for years. Im glad he’s finally decided to go ahead and take the plunge. But its got me thinking. I know I want to go back to school. I know I want to get a degree. And a masters. And maybe even a PhD. So… maybe now is the time?
I started looking at courses on Human Resources. My Dad and step-mom are both in HR and I’ve long thought that sort of job would be fitting for me.
Im a people person. I like to help. I need a career that I can help people in. I need to feel satisfied.
We were driving home from the ferry Monday morning, listening to the cbc, as civilized folks often do, when a segment called ‘the hurried child’ came on. They had a psychologist sitting in talking about parents pushing their kids before they’re ready and the effects on socialization and esteem. I thought, God, what a perfect job. You get to help, you get to be with people, and you cannot leave that job without feeling some satisfaction in what you are doing.
Anyways, long story short, I started thinking about what it would take to become a psychologist. The answer: a lot of school. Obviously.
Part of my Dad’s job is helping people in their careers: finding the right path suited to their goals and their personality. He sent me an assessment and then we sat down and went over the results, and looked at fitting career paths for me. Second from the top was a psychologist. So I started thinking. And I started looking around at schools, and my options.
So… now Im debating between a couple of schools, and a couple of routes.
Do I quit my job, and go back to school full time? Try and condense my Bachelor of Arts – Psych into two years instead of four, so I can get on to my masters asap. And then work, and then after a couple practical working years, look at getting my PhD. I will accrue a lot of debt in student loans, and we will be living a much more modest lifestyle for the next few years.
Do I start taking all my courses correspondence, while still working full time, and crawl along to the finish line in the full four years plus the masters? We will be struggling to pay our bills and tuition, but come out the other side debt-free.
Do I scrap it and take the Business and HR route? With either student loans, or distance education.

Im so excited but Im freaking right out too. Im 26 years old. Im not going to be done until Im 30, at the earliest. As Jeremy has pointed out, school is not designed for adults with bills and kids and responsibilities. But I would have never thought of this kind of change when I was 18. And maybe age is actually on my side… Would you go see a 25 year old shrink??

The bottom line is this: I want a career I am happy in. I want a career I feel like Im doing something with. I want to be able to provide Maddy with everything and anything she wants (well, within reason and without allowing her to become a spoiled brat). I want th elife that I want. And the only person I know that can make that happen, is me.

So, now… I burry my head in my ipod and lose myself in Bat for Lashes… and I weight the options. And maybe look for some advice…?

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If you want to be happy, be.

I dont even know if there is anyone still out there. I’d almost forgotten this place myself.
Phew.
Long time.

Im not going to apologize for taking time away. I dont need to, I know. I needed to not worry about feeling guilty for not writing for people to see. Ive been doing plenty of it on my own, in all honesty. And Im hella proud of it. How many people do I know right now that are planning on writing a book? The number grows daily. Add my name to that list. I am not planning, however, I am doing. I have been writing a story that has been spining in my head since I was eighteen. I know the exact day it wedged itself in between sinful thoughts of my boyfriend, and my starbucks partner number. Engrained. Its about time I let it out.

So, I have been away. but also here, kinda, ya dig? Ive been readin your blogs lovies, keeping up with you. Watching you grow and laughing at your jokes. I just needed some quiet time. I needed no expectations of anyone else. Even though… Im pretty sure I actually place them on myself, not anyone else. If that makes sence.
Regardless.
I dont know how many days I sat feeling hollow, watching my beautiful baby girl play, happily and inquisitively, by herself. She should be playing with me, I should be smiling back at her when she giggles and coos up at me, I shouldnt be sitting across the room from her, feeling empty and lonely and wrong. How many nights I said “Im right behind you, I just want to check one thing” and pull out my laptop while J went to bed, and found myself hours later, doing nothing. Except distancing myself from him.  HOw many dinner dates or movies or walks Ive declined with friends, or even agreed to, only to cancel an hour before. A headache, tired, got caught up, busy, forgot. Any excuse. Im finding that Im really good at coming up with excuses instead of participating in my life. Im changing that.
I dont want to miss out on important moments in my friends’ lives, or vis versa. I dont want to ignore my cell phone, or pretend I have other plans, and push myself further away from people who have been the world to me for years, and find myself alone, and miserable because I didnt value who I had.
I dont want to lose the kind of honesty and trust that I have with Jeremy. I dont want to give him any cause for concern, whether its if I want to marry him still, or if I am happy with our life. I dont want him to ever stop wanting to make our life good, and happy and safe and continually growing stronger.
I want to make every memory possible with Madelyn. I dont want to wish I had taken her for more walks, and seen her amazed at seeings birds for the first time. I dont want to find that its the night before I return to work, my entire year of maternity leave over before I got the chance to appreciate having the whole day every day with my baby. I dont want to look up to see why shes been making the same noise over and over, only to see that shes looking right at me, trying to get MY attention, trying to tell me she wants ME. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. Im missing out on her.
I am missing out on so many things. Or… I was. I dont know exactly how it changed, but it happened slowly, over weeks and days, inching along until I woke up one morning and felt… good. I felt back to me. Old me, normal me, good me.
So Im waking up and smiling, because I have good toothpaste, and comfy underwear, and a beautiful home, and fresh coffee, and a amazingly happy daughter, and a beautiful fiance, and good true friends, and words. I forgot how much it enriched my life when I wrote. Really wrote. Not updates and quizes. My writing, the stuff I pull from my heart. I just had to remind myself, that all those little peices I was neglecting? They are big peices of my heart. And it doesnt work when everything isnt there, tucked in together, pumping and pushing and moving the life around inside of me.

I missed you. But… I missed me more.

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I have lost my toes.


Oh, they certainly arent kidding when they say that the last few weeks are the hardest.
Everything hurts, everything swells, everything aches. And it starts to seem endless.

I feel as big as a house. An old creaky broken house.

And her due date seems both farther away than ever, and closer than can be right.
A matter of weeks makes me a mother. And I feel like Im unprepared and not quite ready. I kind of feel like I wont ever  be prepared or ready.
But still, shes coming, ready or not.

In the land of updates….
We had a fairly busy Christmas. In Victoria and Coquitlam (and the rockiest ferry I have ever been on).  You cant tell from the picture, but the horizon was going from the top of the windows, and back to the bottom with each wave.  The ferry litterally stopped and the captain coasted us in, we started from the third docking bay, and ended up in the first. It was quite cool actually.

It was festive and we were both spoiled rotten. But thats ok, because I have a feeling next year will involve a lot of “Jeremy and Coral, who? Look at the pretty baby, awww.”
Which, honestly, is just fine by me.

I also found out that Im going to be given a younger brother or sister. Mm hmm… My biological father, informed me that he and his lady-friend are three months along with a bundle of their own.  Their baby will be born mere months after my own. Yes, Madelyn will be older than her Aunt or Uncle. I will chose my words wisely on how I write about this as my opinion and feelings have gone from one end of the scale to the other, and I fear only unruly emotions and hurt feelings will result.  Perhaps I will touch on that in another blog down the road from here.

I am still testing my blood sugars 4x daily, which is more a habit now than a bother… but I will be happy when its all over and done with. 
I also have great deal of pressure and pain of my pelvis, which requires careful positioning in daily activities, for fear of causing unmanagable pain resulting in bed rest. God help everyone I know if I am put on bed rest, I already get frustrated daily at the growing list of things I cannot do.

And Jeremy got a gig dj-ing at Hugo’s Tuesday nights, and Element on Sunday nights. I think hes enjoying being a full fledged radio AND club dj now.  Being given a limitless bar tab and paid in cash each night has its perks.  Next big ticket item on our list is a laptop for his even more rapidly expanding music collection.

We went for a big fancy dinner at Il Terrazzo for New Years and then to a small house party for the countdown. I will admit, I had a half a glass of champagne at midnight. Rebel, rebel.

*Sigh* and now its January, the month of endless birthdays and rain.

Yes, a busy and interesting holiday season it was. 

-C.

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Filed under bump progression, health, life update

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.

I am 29 weeks pregnant. Into my 30th week. I am in my third trimester. I am seven months pregnant.
I am not having my baby over Christmas holidays.
If I hear one more person ask me if they’ll even be seeing me in the New Year, I will beat them.

Grrr.

There, thats out of the way.

I met with the nutritionist at the Diabetes Clinic at VGH on Wednesday. We sat for an hour and a half going over everything I eat, and everything I should and should not be eating for here on out.  The diet itself isnt horrid. Its actually only cutting stuff I dont eat a lot of anyways, refined sugars. So I stop drinking gingerbread lattes, and I pick up a packet of splenda to put in my americano. Easy peasy.
Oh, except I also have to measure out EVERYTHING I eat at each meal, half a cup of milk, half a cup of cereal, half a bagel, whole wheat toast with sugar-free peanut butter, plain yougurt with half a cup of blueberries.  But no juice. And, lets just clarify here, I LOVE juice. Like, I live for it. I drink SO much juice. And now… none.
And meat, I can eat as much meat as I want. Super.
I would rather have juice.
Oh well, its good for me and its good for my wiggle worm. And Jeremy is adhering to it too…. well, most of it anyways.

Then, I went and had an hour long sit down with the nurse. Yipes.  Yes, a part of having gestational diabetes means you have to test your blood sugars. With a needle. Four times a day.  Its actually easy, and barely pricks, but its annoying.  Last night I tested both mine AND Jeremy’s blood sugar levels. Hes a wimp, just so everyone knows. He got so worked up when I came near him with the needle pen (which you cant even see a needle on, because its inside) that he was laughing and shaking and wriggling about saying ‘just do it, just get it over with’ and then yelping about how much it hurt.
Good thing Im the one physically having the baby, huh.

So, I go back in two weeks to go over my numbers and see if theyre low and even, and to look at what I have eaten (I keep a diary). If all goes well, I will only have to test twice a day! YAY!!

Alright, Im off to eat my sugar-free chocolate (a treat to myself) and watch Greys Anatomy from two weeks ago!

-C. 

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