The Night I Found Out

Sometime back… the night of the Monster Truck Spectacular to be percise (June 15th)… I rolled up to the Casa La CorJ in the Zone’s bitch’n yellow Nissan Xterra to pick up my lovely girlfriend for a night of high flying motocross professionals and Gravedigger monster truck carnage.  As I pull the car up to the curb, I see that Coral is visibly upset.  She sits down and says… “I’m pregnant.”

… “and you’re crying?” I asked stunned.

“well, I wasn’t sure what you were gunna think.”

“I think its great, but you know what, I need you to put the tears away for a moment because, MONSTER TRUCKS!!!  WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

I then crushed a beer can on my head and off we went to the Save-On Foods Memorial Centre.

We arrive at the Arena and head up to the Zone’s private box where I am hosting some contest winners.  The Zone knows how to operate so there is a giant TUB full of BEER.

I tuck in and toss one over to Corj.

“I don’t think I am supposed to drink,” she says to me.

I reply, “SWA?  Nonsense, you’re barely pregnant.”

“No, no I am pretty sure booze is a no go.”

I savage her with a volley of logic, “OK look, what were we going to do tonight?  Drink beer and watch monster trucks.  Now, *if* you were to say, have taken your little test, which by-the-way is only like, ninety-nine percent accurate, *if* you even did it right, now say… you took it tomorrow and did not know you were pregnant… would you drink?”

“Well yes, BUT I *DO* know I’m pregnant so… NO BEER!  Jesus… what kind of father are you going to be?  Our baby is not even born yet and your sneaking it booze.”

“Hey, free booze courtesy of Jimmy Pattison.”

 Ok, so Coral was sober, I tipped a couple, we’re having a baby and the Monstrer trucks were a little dissapointing (the motocross was cool), but so educational.

–J.

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